geckos

I could tell you about when I was 25 or 26 I took her, Golda the Bear to live in St. Croix, with us for several months.Most of her hair fell out, because of the heat and humidity, but she didn't care, she was with me. Because the year before when I made this trip for 6 months I left her with my friend on her farm. The day I returned, she heard my car and ran across three roofs and jumped onto the hood of my car, and said her curly "BRRupp, meow".I knew I couldn't leave her again, she had already been left by a previous owner, by death. Considering this was 15 years ago it is pretty amazing my toe licking feline is still with me. She loved to chase and eat geckos, and I would know when she had achieved this goal, because one of her eyes would be totally dilated and the other normal. She would try to run up the wall and chase things that weren't there. We would call it her kitty trips. The toxins in the lizards, caused a high like affect on her, and when she was done (coming down) , she would drool, and purr and feverishly lick my toes.
Always happy to see me, I'm not sure if I will ever have a relationship like this again.
Obviously, still in denial...

Denial...

My companion of almost 17 years is ill. My cat Golda the Bear. I am not sure what is wrong with her, but something is wrong. I keep trying to sooth her, because I am afraid if I bring her to the vet, I won't be bringing her home. Plus, I can't even get her to the vet right now because of mud season, and I know she would not enjoy a ride on a noisey 4 wheeler. Trying to ease any pain she may have while still living in denial....

Friday Night-journal flow

Boy, have things changed. Or have they really? Yeah, I am typing on a lap top while 2 quietly sleep on the couch and one sleeps upstairs, but I am still watching silly movies on a Friday night, Tonights feature is "Ghost Busters". Similar to 1984 when the movie came out, I am doing homework on a friday night, in front of the T.V.. I just baked the best sweets for my husbands birthday party tomorrow. Millionare Shortbread, only 5 ingredients. Roasted garlic hummus, and homemade macaroni and cheese (for the kids...). Unlike when I was 13 in 1984, I wouldn't have made hummus, but brownies or peanutbutter balls or some sweet probably would have been made on a friday night. Oh, I guess I wasn't a total homebody, occassionaly we snuck out to t.p. some boys house, now you'd get ticketed for such behavior. Which reminds me my husbands 85 year old Grandma said she was going to t.p her son's house because he forgot to call her on her birthday. That's the spirit I hope to have at her age.

Mud season I

Mudseason is upon us. Making the difficult morning shuffle even more insane. Up at 5:50, still slithering out of bed with a 33 month old baby taking up more than his fair share of the Cali King bed. Coffee, dogs out , fire stoked, teeth brushed, splash face with cold water. Awake. Kids up, breakfast, clothes , hair , teeth, dogs shut into back porch, so they don't follow us. Mud boots, rain gear, and thankfully frozen muddy ground. We put lunches and backpacks for the three of us in the side saddle containers and a crate my husband attached to the front. All three of us on the 4-wheeler. Sophia 7 sits back snugging her brother in tight. Gloves on, push button, play with throttle, pump gas repeat a good ten times and she starts! We are off! We don't go faster than 10mph it is very rutted although frozen, some ruts 2.5 deep, don't get suck into this class 4 mud rapid on the right. Two moose on the left, Thomas yells "Baby Moose, Mama Look!" . Get sucked into the rut, but it's still frozen so I squeeze the gas, my fingers frozen and hurt ,figures I forget my gloves after spending several minutes getting each little finger into the little guys gloves. And there is my car! Much easier and faster than walking. This afternoon we will walk it so I can get a better feel where the lines are to drive it. Fun, fun, bring on mud season, agravated moose and silty stains that are impossible to remove. But the reward will be a gorgeous and green month of May, and our souls alittle stronger for surviving another North Idaho winter and mud season.

News

I honestly haven't watched much news lately, I was busy wrapped up in a world of my own, kids, school, birthday parties, impending mud season. But, once I started watching the footage of the Japan earthquake and sunami, it's hard to pull away from it. The devastion unreal. I couldn't even image, what those people were thinking, feeling, going through. The after math, of being with out loved ones, food, water, necessacities, of nuclear destruction and radiation illness. It's overwhelming from this far away. My heart aches .

DirecTv & Septic Man

Today is my 40th birthday! Woo- hoo for me! I am glad to have made it to forty. Last night the eve of the big day, I spent 3 hours in the rain with the DirecTv man learning to rewire my whole system. I thought about joining him in a chew and spit tobacco session, but decided to save that celebration for my 50th b.day date with the Septic man.

If you can't laugh at yourself , your shouldn't laugh at any body else.

Two more assignments, than birthday parties, spring break , and a trip to Seattle for more birthday celebrations.

My life is far from perfect, and I'm not exactly where I thought I would be... but I am Exactly Where I Should Be, and perfectly a part of something bigger than myself.

Kindle

I know one of my first post was all about how I love the smell and feel of real paper books. But after spending most of this semester chasing books down, I am done. I am about to order my first kindle. I have no I idea how it works or how to use it. But A. I am tired of carring 30 pounds of books around and B. I am tired of not being able to read the books I want to for the papers I have to write and lessons I need to plan because they are unavailable at my library. So there it is, I have been broken down, the day before my 40th birthday I am changing my mind.So what I can do that.

House Hunters International

Okay, it may be a little self indulgent, but it's a marathon of House Hunters International, I have been to Sicily, Costa Rica, the Isle of Tortola and I haven't left my couch or my school books in almost two hours. The family is all asleep in our big bed anyway, with Madagascar II replaying itself as they sweetly snore in unison. So I can creep back to my couch , burn some incense , mostly because one of the three dogs has some seriously stinky gas, and travel to Paris next, maybe Istanbul? Snacking on a small jar of red hot hearts left over from Valentines day, and taking notes on nutrition, I feel more exotic, excited because I remember the days of traveling and experiencing the world by checking it out. Nepal, Bhutan, Thailand, Maui, both coast and almost every state in between (Still need to get to the Dakota's and the Grand Canyon), St. John, St. Thomas, St. Croix, Martinique, Mexico, Canada and still SO much more to explore and travel. I really can't wait to get to Italy, Belize, Costa Rica and the Greek Islands. Now , if I could just win that Powerball and my travels with the family would begin, traveling the world together, getting an education beyond the traditional, meeting all sorts of folks. A great fantasy to go to bed on....

Mobile again!!!

It feels good to feel good! Even though we have been getting bombarded by snow! 23" in 24 hours! Whew. I don't care. Maybe it's the cold medicine that lets me sleep all night. Maybe because I feel almost 100% and am grateful, glad to be alive. Maybe, because it can't be all bad all the time, it just can't. I'm sticking with it, even though I'm still playing catch up with my school and my house and my kids and my awesome step up to the plate husband. Even though every time I cough my ribs hurt, I don't feel like I'm having a heart attack, people love me. And I love myself. Which is not something I would have said as I rounded the corner of 25 or even 30, but as 40 approaches... I rock. I am generous, loving, emotional,a messy neat freak, who will lay it on the table, say it to your face because I care and don't want to say it behind your back.